Friday, August 13, 2004
Friday The 13th.
Today is my last day working at Belmah. I felt sad yesterday when I left Devi; But this morning, I feel good. Last night I felt so sad, lonely, helpless....I was thinking lotsa things happened to me all this while. I should face it and accept it , no matter how bad the consequences are, shouldn't I? Just because I was the main cause for all these.
My friends keep telling me that don't take this (jobless) as a bad thing, on the other way, I should take it as a process to move on the to next step in my life. Yes, I must!
Posted at 8/13/2004 9:23:17 am by blueair
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Tuesday, August 10, 2004
I'm waif...I feel this all the time...since the day I was born, the time I left ch, the time I went to UK...all these made me feel I belong to nowhere...
Posted at 8/10/2004 2:31:22 pm by blueair
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Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Finished All The Trainings
Yesterday is my last day to training at MDC. I had a great time during the training.. from Cameron to MDC... I met different people, I brushed up my communication skill, either in writing or talking. I must say, I gained a lot but there are still a lot to learn out there.
I had my hard time on these days, I lost myself...I'm not rational anymore....Nobody can help..except myself.... I admitted that I made a wrong decision at the first place...a indecisiveness person just suffer themselves..I'm one of them.
What's wrong with me? What happend to me?
....
Posted at 8/4/2004 9:36:16 am by blueair
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Saturday, July 31, 2004
When and how will I know....
Song: Crawling In The Dark
Artist: Hoobastank
I will dedicate and sacrifice my every-thing
For just a seconds worth of how my story's ending
And I wish I could know if the directions that I take
And all the choices that I make won't end up all for nothing
Show me what it's for make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what I've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Help me carry on assure me it's ok to use my heart and not my eyes
To navigate the darkness will the ending be ever coming suddenly?
Will I ever get to see the ending to my story?
So when and how will I know?
How much further do I have to go?
And how much longer until I finally know?
Cause I am looking and I just can't see what's in front of me
Posted at 7/31/2004 12:41:49 pm by blueair
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Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Blog may shutting down...
It's been some time I didn't update my blog. Feel lazy... too much things .....on these few days... feel like wanted to close this blog.....
no more energy, low in spirit, tired for being here.....
Posted at 7/21/2004 4:46:26 pm by blueair
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Friday, July 16, 2004
Yes.. I back to work again after 2 days leave... one day went to interview...another day...as usual.... sick leave...
After the interview at Wednesday... I feel myself more confident.. dunno why....mayb the LTP training really helps...it build up my confident... but that's not enuff for me.... still a long way to go.... I believe that as long as we live in this world, we must keep on learning.... be a life-time learner...That's wat i promised to John... and my first step is read the book: <>. This one of the resources where my confident can come from. But I still searching for the book...is not easy to get a good book.
Pain pain pain... every month... each time.. I have to suffer from that.... mayb I used to have that pain...or mayb I deserve the pain? yeah..mayb.....
Im such a lucky person in the world. Although I lack of somethign since I was born... I missed something that eveyone else do have it... but except me....
A lot of people care about me... love from my friends, my families, my colleagues....love from someone do love me..and love from someone that i love.... I appreciate it very much....
Thanks for those who oways cheers me up... thanks for those who oways support me... thanks for those who oways stand by my side... oways give me a hand when I need help... I really appreciate you all. THANKS FOR CaME ACROSS IN MY LIFE.
Posted at 7/16/2004 2:36:48 pm by blueair
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Monday, July 12, 2004
I purposely made myself out of contact with my frens during the training period... i want myself enjoy it.. i want myself concentrate in the training... i think this is the best way to do it... need not to worry about the phone ringing.... need not reply any message.... I was fully swamped with the activities of the training.... yes.. this is the way to make myself happy.
All those activites brought out a lot meaning behind....
First day>the car, pickpoket, the torch, the top of the moutain... the big paper key... funny video...
Second day>The acid bridge.. the spider web... the leafs and stone..(if we move the leaf, the stone will get stuck... so.. WE MOVE THE LEAF) > hahahaha...me so blur.. blur like sotong....
Third day>the improvement of the car... refresh all the things for the training....sigh... time passed by without anyone notice it... it's time to leave all of our buddies...
I felt sad... i felt empty.. but im sure we will keep the flame burning... we are in contact... forever...
Posted at 7/12/2004 9:31:41 am by blueair
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Fire of The Flame....We are the champion!!
yeah...Yeah...Yeah... I went through the training... it was great.... i gained a lot of valuable experience.... it was really fun, great, fantastic... everyone should attend the training....
From Check-in challenge to Test of Worthiness... we are the best of the best... we are the strongest of the strong...im sure we will keep the flame burning... throughout the rest of the time... we can do it better.. we can make it the best....CHEERS!!
Posted at 7/12/2004 9:14:37 am by blueair
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HAppy Birthday to Him and Her
HapyPy BiRThdaY to Agnes and Seng Ling...
Posted at 7/12/2004 12:00:00 am by blueair
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Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Songs: Thank You
Artist: Bon Jovi
You didn't have to love me, like you did
But you didn't, but you did, and I thank you
You didn't have to squeeze me, like you did
But you didn't, but you did, and I thank you
If you took your love to someone else
I know what I meant to be the loving dare
You made me feel like I've never felt
Your kiss is so good, I got the holler for help
You didn't have to squeeze me, like you did
But you didn't, but you did, and I thank you
You didn't have to hold me, like you did
But you didn't, but you did, and I thank you
Now every day there's something new
You put your make-up and your mild perfume
You got me trying to do things, too
Just so that I can keep up with you
You didn't have to shkae me, like you did
But you didn't, but you did, and I thank you
You didn't have to make me, like you did
But you didn't, but you did, and I thank you
All my life I've been short changed
Without your love it would be a crying shame
Now I know what love I'm looking for
When they say they're being turned on
I wanna thank you, thank you, thank you
Thank you, baby, thank you, thank you I got to say
You didn't have to love me, like you did
But you didn't, but you did, and I thank you
You didn't have to hold me, like you did
But you didn't, but you did, and I thank you
I wanna thank you, baby I wanna thank you, let me count the ways
Let me thank you, baby, baby I've got something to say
Thank you baby
Let me count the ways, for the whole wide world to hear, oh yeah
Now thank you for paying for my cold beer
I wanna thank you for being here with me baby
Thank you for understanding why I was out so late last night
Thank you for giving me your best friend's phone number
Thank you for understanding, that me and your sister are just good friends.
Posted at 7/6/2004 12:28:24 pm by blueair
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